The Trouble with Love Is
by BelovedSyn
Summary: She and her mother left California to try and have a different start, get away from the past. They both have the hardest time finding love, finding the one. Until they move to La Push, that is.
1. Chapter 1

**The Trouble with Love Is**

Chapter One

"_The trouble with love is_

_It doesn't care how fast you fall_

_And you can't refuse the call_

_See you've got no say at all."_

Love, when it comes, not everyone's ready. It happens to unexpectedly, you're no where near ready for another heart-throbbing, heart-aching, relationship. And when you fall, it doesn't care when. There's no time limit with love, you just _fall_. Whether some one is there to catch you or not.

I've fallen, out of the relationships I've had (which is 5 since high school began), probably 3 times, and I've never been caught.

Not ever.

So I didn't expect the next one to catch me.

* * *

**A/N - Sorry it's short, but it just give some information. I'm going to be adding another Chapter before the end of today. =]**


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

**The Trouble with Love Is**

Chapter Two

"_I miss you so much  
Your light, your smile, your way  
And everything about us  
Though you're gone, you're still here  
in my heart, in my tears  
Yeah you sure left your mark, we were just getting started."_

_**Rascal Flatts - Forever**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

"You'll see, Cinnia. It's a small little town, nothing huge like California, baby." I removed my left ear bud from my ear as my mother patted my knee, and looked up at her. I know my face didn't show much interest, but I sure was happy we left our past behind us, where we could move on and forget about everything.

Well, at least try to, right?

"We're right near a beach, First Beach I guess; I'm not one hundred percent sure."

"I know, mom." I smiled faintly. "Don't worry so much." I could hear it in her voice, that she was unsure of the little town, or country. I'm not, either, but it gets us further away from that cursed place we called home for 16 years of my life.

She smiled at me, patted my knee and shook her head softly. I put my ear bud back in my ear, and turned up Rascal Flatt's _Forever_.

I ain't never gonna forget you, Brad; never.

* * *

We reached 'La Push', as the sign we just passed told us. She showed me the school I'd be attending once school starts. Which was in two weeks, I'm not even ready, but I'm Cinnia May Brown, and I've got the Brown trait, which is never being ready on time.

We passed a couple houses, especially this red one with this really tall, russet coloured man (or boy I couldn't tell) who could probably lift up an entire bus with how big and brawny he was.

My mom even cracked a smile as I said: "Now what are they feeding him up here, I hope it's only him, 'cause if I see all the males down here who're just like him, I think I just might faint."

And then she replied, "We need someone in the family like that, tall, big, and muscular. Us poor women aren't that built, we can't lift up every box." She giggled and she turned the radio on, the forecast telling us there will be a thunderstorm tonight.

I'm definitely going for a walk tonight, then.

I just got comfortable as she pulled up to a small, two story house near the beach that was a dark brown with tanned windows. At least the wood around them were a tanner colour.

Around the house were a bunch of bushes that needed some serious clipping, the flowers surrounding those bushes looked dead and wilted. The stair case looked a little unsafe. Looks like I'm gonna have to be doing those later; gives me something to concentrate on.

"Well, here we are." She said, eyeing the house. I frowned as she looked over at me. "It's not in the best condition, Cin, but it works, right?" I nodded my head softly and opened the truck door. Most of our stuff was here already, at least what we wanted to take.

My sister had followed with her truck, with some of our clothes and stuff like that. She looked at me, her blue eyes sad, but her pale pink lips formed a smile, a smile that only she could pull off.

Absentmindedly, I tugged on my shirt; just looking at her would take down anyone's confidence in their selves. She jumped out of her truck; her skirt was up a little and she had to pull it down, fixed her cowboy boots, her top, her loose bun, and looked in the mirror to check her make up; a diva, like always.

"Hey Cin, how's the ride?" She asked as she came up next to me and hugged me. Natalie, my sister, always was good when it came to dating and love. Right now, she has the man of her dreams; she's 19 and will be getting married in a year. She's a model, finished school (no college, though), and she loved her life.

I still have two more years of High school, and I get to finish it in a small town that I never new existed. And I'll never find love.

Ever.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Trouble with Love Is**

Chapter Three

"_I'm so far from where I need to be  
I've given up on faith, on everything  
all I wanted, all I needed  
was some peace."_

_**Kelly Clarkson - Hole**_

_Boom! _The sound of thunder and the beauty of lightening, oh the joy and wonder it can bring you, and the memories it leave you with. I took a deep breathe in through my nose, catching he scent of wet wood and mud. I closed my eyes and twirled around in a circle with my arms wide open.

Some people are frightened by them, I understand, but me? I love them, I breathe them, and I live in them. They give me the peace, serenity, and quiet that I need. Give me time to think to myself (of course, trying not to worry about getting struck with a bolt of lightening) about things of the past, and how things are going. It gives me time for myself.

I stopped twirling since I felt dizzy, and stood straight as I stared at the dirt road. There was a puddle forming, and I saw my reflection. At least, what I could with the downpour.

My darkened hair, which would be dirty blonde hair but it was dampened with the rain, stuck to my face, and my pale brown/green eyes started back at me. Sometimes, I wonder who I am.

Yeah, I'm Cinnia May Brown, but _who_ is she? What would she be like if her heart wasn't broken so many times? If she didn't grow up so fast, would she of had more friends than just the three at home, her mother, and her sister? What would it be like if her father was still around, and her brother she lost when she was seven?

I shook my head as I felt the stinging sensation in my eyes begin. I shut the tightly and bit down on my bottom lip, and turned my hands into fists.

You may think it can be easy trying not to let the deceiving water drops fall from your eyes, but it is; especially if it's something that meant most that you're crying over, something you're not one hundred percent over.

"Are you alright?" The deep, dark voice asked and I jumped with a squeak, reaching my arm out to punch whoever it was in front of me, since I opened my eyes for a second to see where he was and when I swung, I closed my eyes. A groan came from whoever it was, and I opened my eyes with my hand over my heart. I looked down at whoever this male was, his body was small, pale but tan, and had blonde curly hair that hung around his face, sort of like a Nick Jona's look. He had such a baby face; I suddenly found my self kneeling in the mud with my ripped jeans, and tending to his nose that was gushing out blood.

"God," He said, "For a girl, you have a kick ass swing." I laughed and helped him sit up.

"I'm so, so, so, so sorry!" I said as he was sitting up and holding his nose. I jumped up. "Oh my god, hold on let me call…Shit! I don't have my cell phone!" The guy laughed and shook his head. He took the bottom of his shirt and brought it towards his nose. "Don't do that, you're gonna ruin—." But he cut me off.

"I'm lying on a dirt road, it's raining, what'll cause mud, and I've god a bloody nose, what more could I do to this shirt?" He stood up, and I grabbed his elbow for support. "I'll be fine." He said softly, with a smile.

"At least come to my house where we can clean it up." I offered, and he sighed.

"If it will get you to stop worrying, alright." Still holding onto his elbow, I guided him back towards my house. "My names Gabriel, but people call me Crow." I looked at him weirdly. He shrugged, "I used to dram a lot of crows when I was younger, so people called me the 'Crow Boy'." I looked at him oddly, and he laughed.

"Is that true?" He nodded just as we reached my house.

"My names Cinnia, but people call me Cin." His lips formed into a grin and laughed softly once more.

"Really? Like Synyster Gates Syn?" I laughed and shook my head.

"No, I mean I guess, but it's spelt differently, C-I-N."

"Oh, okay. I see." He said as we went around my house, ignoring the front steps. I didn't have such a great first meeting with those steps; they rocked like a boat on water. It was weird. "Why aren't we using the front steps?" He asked. I looked at him as we reached the back door.

"Unless you want more than a broken nose, I suggest we go this way. Those steps aren't exactly safe for us to be using."

"Oh."

"Mom!" I said loudly as I pulled out a kitchen chair for him to sit in. My mother was upstairs in her room, setting things up. Nat must have been in the shower, considering you could hear the water and her singing.

I heard steps squeaking, and looked towards the stairs to see her descending them. Her eyes widened as she sag Gabriel, or Crow, and she quickly ran towards him. My mother was a doctor, so it was all good.

"Oh my god, Cin! What happened?" She asked, and I blushed as he explained for me.

"Well, uh, Mrs. you're daughter here has a kick ass punch. I sort of freaked her out by appearing in front of her with her eyes closed, and spoke." My mother looked up at me and frowned.

"She is quite the boxer." She murmured. "Honey, can you get me a wet face cloth?" I nodded and quickly walked towards the bathroom. I knocked on the door, since it's nice. I'd rather someone knock than just barge right in when I'm in the shower.

"Yeah?" My sister shouted so I could hear her. I opened the door and closed it behind me.

"I just need a face cloth, that's all." I replied.

"Alright, Cinnie, can you do me a favor and give me that shampoo bottle on the sink there? It's blue." I grabbed it and put my hand in the shower and handed it to her. "Thanks, darling."

"Mhm." I ran the cloth under some water, and then left.

"…She used to box? Wow, that's amazing. Never saw a girl who boxed." My mother laughed as I reached the room.

"Here, Mom." I said. She looked up at me and frowned, then the floor. "Oh god, Cinnia! The floor!" She whined. "Go get changed, baby girl. You're soaking wet, and you're track mud all over the place." She sighed as I went towards my room. "You tow are crazy for walking in a storm like this. You could get sick. She gets more like her father everyday."

I sure hope I don't end up like Dad.

I opened my door and shut is, then walked towards my bed and opened a suitcase and pulled out a clean pair of underwear, a bra, sweats, and a tank top. I changed into them quickly, put my hair up, and opened my door to see Crow standing with a towel over him, and my mother putting her shoes on.

"Mom?" I said.

"I'm just taking Gabriel home and I'm going to explain what happened, okay? Suppers in the fridge, and I want this picked up, okay, Now." I nodded just as my mother left.

"Sorry 'bout that nose." I said.

"No biggie, Cin." He smiled and I smiled faintly back. He was about to leave, but turned and looked at me. "It's obvious that you're new. Are you going to the Forks high school, or ours?"

"Yours." I said, "Why?"

"You need someone to show you around or something?" I smiled.

"Actually, I do." He grinned.

"I'll meet you in the parking lot, alright?" I nodded. "See you, then, my fare lady!" I laughed and he walked out of the house.

I could already tell Gabriel and I would get along; now it's just fitting in, in his high school.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Trouble with Love Is**

Chapter Four

"_Cause it makes her feel close  
Makes her smile it's like he's with her almost  
Till the tears take over she's still in hell  
But she tells herself she's ready to let him go  
Cause that makes her feel close."_

_**Rascal Flatts - Close**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

"_Get back here, Cinnia!"_ I watched the TV screen as my father chased me around our yard back in California. My mother was behind the camera, and her laughter made me smile. God, I hadn't heard that laugh in years.

I laughed as my father reached me, I was about five then, and started to tickle my sides. _"Daddy!"_ I whined. _"Stop it, put me down!"_ He laughed, and I closed my eyes as I remembered the way the skin around his eyes would wrinkle, and the way his lips curled up when he laughed. I remembered how his blue eyes would glow what that laugh came out, how my mother would smile from behind that camera at us.

I opened my eyes as he spoke again._ "Who loves you, baby girl?"_ He asked, but I didn't answer I just stood there and smiled at him. He poked my side, and I giggled. _"Well, who loves you?"_

I giggled loudly, _"Daddy does!"_ He grinned and I looked at my mother, her darkened lips were in a smile.

"_And who's you're favorite?" _I looked at my mother in confusion, but my smile got bigger.

"_Awe, Rich why put her on the spot?"_ My mother said, but I had up my mind. I ran towards my dad and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"_You my favorite, Daddy!"_ I said.

A tear fell from my eye, as the tape ended. Why on earth do I bother watching these things? They always make me cry.

I guess it just…helps me think he's still here with us, makes it feel like he's still part of us.

I turned off the TV, got up and walked towards me room. But my sister stood there in front of the door.

"Why do you watch that?" She asked softly, her arms were crossed over her chest, and her blue eyes looked at me with sadness.

I shrugged, not wanting to explain. "You sleeping on the couch, or do you want to sleep on my floor?" I asked as I opened my door. She sighed knowing she wouldn't get more out of me.

"Got that sleeping bag?" She asked as she stepped into my room. I turned on the light and groaned. "God, you're such a procrastinator, Cin. Why didn't you clean off your bed when Ma told you too?" I sighed and walked towards my bed tiredly.

"I don't know. I was in a rush to go for a walk." I grabbed a suit case and put it on the floor, then a box, another box, another suitcase, and some other things. Then I grabbed my wet clothes that I had left on the floor and put them in the hamper that Mom had bought me. Then I went towards a box that said 'Blankets' on top and pulled out blankets, then went for my pillows, and grabbed the sleeping bag. I gave her the bag, and two pillows. "Why do you prefer the floor? I hate it, makes my back hurt in the morning."

"I don't know. Hey, are you gonna turn that radio of yours on?" I groaned and plopped down on my bed, removed my sweatshirt, and wrapped myself in my blankets. Which were actually quite a few.

"Too tired." I groaned out. She sighed and I heard zipping.

"Okay, suit yourself, night little sister." I rolled my eyes but closed them and answered back anyways.

"Night." I yawned, and within a few seconds I found my self sound asleep.

* * *

_She ran, ran as fast as she could. Her hair stuck to her face, and her heart pounded within her chest. She's had to of run a mile so far, but she knew she could go a little longer. She just had to get away from that thing, had to try._

_**You won't be able to outrun him!**_

_That voice came back, and she got angry._

**Go away!**

_**Cinnia, you can't outrun him! He—**__…_

_But it was too late; she was on the ground, pinned. He rolled her over so she was on her back, and he looked at her._

"_Rather be with a nasty, foul, mongrel that me?" He hissed between his teeth. He brought his hand up her side. "You could live for forever. I could love you for forever." She tried to move, but the grip he had on her was strong. Too strong. _

_He brought his hand towards her cheek and caressed it, she flinched from the touch. It was so cold._

"_But, if I can't have you, then why should I let someone else?" He murmured as he brought his head down. He placed a soft, cold kiss on her lips._

"_Please," she whispered, "let me be." He laughed._

"_No can do, love." Then she felt pain, pain so bad she couldn't scream; it just hurt so much._

_He'd bitten her, and now she didn't know what was going to happen_

_

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if it's confused you, but it'll make sense later on. Just don't forget this. Also, sorry for it being short.**  
_


	5. Chapter 5

**The Trouble with Love is**

Chapter Five

"_So come on, get higher, loosen my lips  
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips  
Just pull me down hard  
And drown me in love."_

_**Matthew Nathanson – Come on, get higher.**_

"Bllaaaahhh!" I said as I dropped my head over my bed, and hung upside down. "I don't want to go out today, Nat!" I whined as I covered my eyes with my arm, and pouted. "It's cold, and it's…well…cold!" My sister laughed.

"Get used to it, that's why we have jackets. You need to find some friends!" She said happily. I looked at her, removing my arm, with an eyebrow raised.

"I have friends." I said stubbornly.

"Who are in _California_? They obviously don't count, Cinnia." I rolled my eyes and sat up, getting a little light headed.

"They're still my friends; it's just a three hour drive." She rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bed. "Nat, stop! I'm gonna…" But my sentence stopped as I was on the floor, lying on my back. "…fall. What the hell, Nat?" She laughed.

"That's what you get for not listening. Please, Cin? Please, please, please?" She begged. But once she pulled that whole puppy dog face, I cracked.

I threw my arms up (May I remind you I'm on the floor?) and groaned. "Alright, Natalie, Okay! Okay, just don't pull that face again!" I stoop up, straightened out my long sleeved shirt, walked towards my dresser and pulled out a pair of socks.

When I woke up today, I had unpacked and set my room up. That was around 7, and it's almost 1 now.

"YES!" She said as she jumped up and down. I looked towards her and gave her a weird look.

"Uhm, Nat?" She shook her head excitedly. "That was kind of late, you know that, right?" She grinned.

"Oh well!" And with that said, she turned and skipped out of my room and hummed some random tune.

Jeez, how many scoops of sugar did she have in her coffee today?

And to answer my question, she popped her head in with a grin and held up four fingers. "Four scoops!" Then she left, doing this weird 'doo, do, do, doo' noise. I sighed and shook my head. I have one crazy sister.

* * *

"_So come on, get higher, and loosen my lips, faith and desire at the swing of your hips!" _My sister sang along to Matt Nathanson's '_Come on, get higher'_ as we drove towards the beach, which wasn't that far actually. It was right down the road. "_Just pull me down hard, and drown me in love!"_

I looked out my window and watched the tree's blend in with the brown of the bark, forming some weird kind of colour. We stopped, and she took a left turn.

I gasped. "What?" My sister said as she turned towards me. I shook my head and turned my head towards the woods, nothing was there. I could have thought I saw something. It looked like a wolf, but a bear at the same time. I'm not sure all the way, since it was a blob of blurriness, but the colour of the fur was grey, I think.

I shook my head and cleared my throat. "Nothing, Nat, just thought I saw something, but I didn't." She pulled into a parking spot.

"Good because you scared me." She laughed and turned off the engine and stepped out of the truck. I opened the door, and stepped out and first thing I smelt was burning wood."Oh, looks like we're lucky today!" She said cheerfully as she clapped her hands.

"Seriously Nat, lay off that damn sugar! I mean, really it was onl—GAH!" I had turned to walk, not seeing my sisters warning when she pointed her finger at some mysterious thing, but I'd walked into something, something very warm and big. "—only four scoops of sugar." I spoke into who's ever chest it was. I backed away, and I felt small. Kind of like ant-size small, or a mouse, because this guy had a good foot over me. And let me tell you, it's scary. "Uh…" I said, "Hi?" I waved slowly as I looked up at this man/boy/giant. He laughed and put his hand out. A rather huge hand, might I add.

"Hi." The voice was deep, which fit the whole big-and-scary-look he had going on. I met his hand and shook it; it engulfed mine, like it ate it. "My names Jake."

"Uh…" I said, not sure what to do. Seriously, he's tall (and really cute), big, scary, and did I mention tall? I heard my sister laugh as I removed my hand from his and set it at my side.

"Which she means is '_Hi, my names Cinnia. It's nice to meet you_.' Sorry, that's just her weird way of introducing herself." He laughed and shook his head. His hair was long, it just touched his shoulders. He brought his hand out, and shook my sisters' hand. "My names Natalie." She smiled, and I was surprised he didn't look hypnotized. Did I forget to mention he was really warm?

'"Nice to meet you, are you two new in town?" He asked my sister as he looked around the parking lot, looking like he was either A) Looking for some_thing_, or B) Looking for some_one_.

"Yeah, we just moved from California. Well, not _we_ since I'm going back within a week. Are you looking for someone? We could help?" She said as she realized he was looking somewhere.

"Have you seen a girl by any chance? She's about this tall," He held his hand to just under his chin. God, what are they feeding these people down here? "her hairs about here, black, same colo—…" but he was interrupted by a female voice.

"Jake, I found…who're they?" This female must have been who he was describing, but he didn't say how beautiful she was. Her skin was copper-ish, her eyes were brown, but her long eyelashes are what made them even more noticeable. Her long hair, which reached just below her shoulder blades, is black, and she was really tall and muscular for a girl.

"Leah, this is Cinnia," He pointed to me, "and that's Natalie." Natalie smiled at Leah and put her hand out. Leah, slowly, put her hand out and shook it. "This is who I was looking for."

"I figured." I said, and Leah looked at me. "I mean, she just fits your description." I added.

"Hey, why don't you both come down to the beach with us? There's a fire going, and we're just starting to eat lunch. Well, Emily's cooking it, and by the way she's great when it comes to food." He rubbed his stomach. Nat and I laughed.

"We don't want to feel like w—." But Jake cut her off.

"Its fine, Emily wouldn't mind."

"Are you sure…?" My sister said, although I could tell she was just being polite.

"Sure am." He grinned down at us and motioned with his hand to follow us.

Yeah, if the rest are as tall as these two, I'm seriously going to feel misplaced. They seriously will need to lie of the steroids, or maybe that food Emily is feeding them.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you who favored/reveiwed =] It makes me happy! I wasn't really feeling it with this one, and I feel like it's a little too early, but it's good =] I think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Trouble with Love Is**

Chapter Six

"_I'm talking in circles  
I'm lying, they know it  
Why won't this just all go away."_

_Kelly Clarkson – "Cry"_

_

* * *

  
_

Okay, so I admit, I'm not the brightest bulb on the tree. I'd have to spend hours, weeks, months, and years to become as smart as Albert Einstein was. My speaking issues just make it even harder to make me sound the least bit intelligent

Especially when I'm in front of a large amount of boys who are ten times the size as I am, both body shape wise, and height wise. And when those really large boys are kind of really, actually kind of….well, gods? It doesn't help at all. At least, not for me since it seems like my sister's hitting it off pretty easily.

Jake was pointing to these guys, their names being Paul, Seth, Sam (who seems to be the oldest, from what they all say), Jared, and other names I can't really remember.

"…There's just two who aren't with us right now. Their names are Embry and Gabriel, which we call C--." And as much of an idiot I may look with my jaw slightly ajar, and my eyes staring at all of them weirdly, I just had to go and make a big fool of myself.

"I know him, I know him!" I said, as I jumped up and down excitedly. All the guys, Leah, and my sister looked at me like I had four heads. This, if I was on California, would be normal.

But I stopped once I heard a female voice break the weird silence between us. I felt my cheeks get slightly warmer, and a weird feeling formed in my stomach, which I usually got when I felt embarrassed.

"Lunch is ready!" I saw Sam's lips form into a smile as he looked behind me. Sam wasn't all that great looking. I mean, yeah he was cute, but he just looked different to me for some unknown reason that I have yet to discover.

I turned around, seriously not expecting what I saw, and saw a young woman with the same coppery coloured skin as the others, her hair was straight, and black. But the thing that caught my up most attention, which stuck out at me like the sun, were the scars on the right side of her face. It wasn't ugly, to state the truth it kind of made her who she is, I guess. It's just what makes her 'stick out' more than the others.

Yes, she was beautiful, but the scars only just made it sad, but added more to it.

The scars were from her hairline, to her chin. There were three lines, thick and red. They looked like it happened long ago. Probably not really long ago, maybe, but they looked long healed. One line was from the corner of her brown almond-shaped eyes, as another twisted the right side of her mouth into a permanent grimace.

"Oh, hello." Her smile only lit up her face as she looked at both my sister and I, and made her look that much more beautiful. "Are you two staying for lunch?" She asked there was a plate of cheeseburgers, and hot dogs in her hands.

Jake answered for us, since we couldn't find words to speak. "Yeah, they are."

"How great!" she said, "I've made just enough, is Renesmee coming too, Jacob?" I tried to shake my focus off those scars of hers, and by doing that I looked at Jake, is she his sister? Cousin? Girlfriend?

He looked sad for a couple minutes, but hid it really well. "We haven't exactly cleared it up with her…uh…well…_parents._" He said, and his eyes told me it was much more than clearing it up with her _parents_. I raised an eyebrow, but his eyes were kept on this female. "Anyways," He said, replacing the frown with a soft smile as he looked over towards my sister and I, "Emily, this is Cinnia and Natalie." I looked towards Emily, and tried to not notice the scars, as she smiled towards us once more.

"Well, it's certainly nice to meet you two." She said.

"Same here." I heard my sister's voice, and I looked towards her and saw her smiling. I could see she was also trying not to notice her scars.

"Well, come and eat, it's all set. I have enough food." She looked at the boys with a funny/happy smile. "We also have more than just this, too."

"Thank you." My sister and I said at the same time.

"Anytime." She turned around and started to walk down the beach where I didn't see a table full of food and drinks.

I think I need to get my eyesight checked.

* * *

"So…Who's Renesmee?" Nat asked Jake as he devoured his 7th hot dog. I'm serious, his 7th hot dog, and Paul must have been on his 8th. I'm only on my second hamburger, and I'm full.

At the mention of her name, his eyes sparkled and a smile formed on his lips.

"Oh! Someone's in lovvveee!" I cooed, but deep inside I felt a twist at my heart.

_He used to have that look._

I've become more comfortable around these guys, and it's probably been not that long, but having more girls than just two (and not counting Leah, because Emily looks more human-normal than ever) girls here.

It looked like Jake was blushing, but he had a serious grin on his face.

I wiped my forehead, god is it hot or what?

"Is it just me, or did the temperature suddenly just increase?" I was stuck between Jake and Quil, who I noticed are serious buds. Nat was on the other side of Quil, and Jared was on her other side. Jared seemed a little down.

"Nah," I looked up at Quil as he grinned down at me, for some reason once again it felt like I'm missing out on some sort of joke. "It's just you." And then he patted my head.

I looked up at him with a glare, "I'm not a dog," I muttered, and people around us laughed. "You don't need to go pettin' me like I am."

"Be careful," My sister said with a mouthful of food, "She's a bitin' kind." They laughed once more. "I'm serious," She said as she swallowed her food. "One time, I went to take one of her French fries, and she snapped at me like some crazed dog would if you'd tried to take away one of her precious toys!"

"I was only 10, Nat." I said, "Plus, I hadn't had anything all day, we were in a car for more than 24 hours!" I complained.

"Have I mentioned she gets seriously cranky when it's more than 24 hours, and she has to sit still?" I growled at her, but rolled my eyes all together with a soft smile on my lips.

* * *

**A/N: I'm REALLY sorry for the long update. I've been seriously busy with school, whihc amde mme forget all bout this story xD! BUT! I'm back, and I will try to get another update up today. Thank you for the wonderful reveiws =]. That's actually what made me remember. I had this thing typed up, and ready to go. I needed to re-read it and fix errors (which I DO NOT doubt are still there somehwere =]) and find a song that went with it. So, before I ramble on about un-important things, IM SORRY! =]**


	7. Chapter 7

**The Trouble with Love Is**

Chapter 7

"_Courage is when you're afraid,  
but you keep on moving anyway  
Courage is when you're in pain,  
but you keep on living anyway."_

_The Strange Familiar – "Courage Is"_

I sat up quickly, as I awoke with a scream. My body was wet from sweat, and I was shaking from being frightened, seriously frightened. I've never felt so scared in my life.

This wasn't just a dream – this was a nightmare, the kind of nightmare where you couldn't close your eyes, because if you did, it would just replay behind your eye lids.

To dream of your sisters death, to dream it so vividly, is not normal. Does this mean something? I mean, when you dream, there's usually a meaning behind it, right? Oh God, please tell me nothing bad is going to happen.

"Cinnie?" I heard my sisters' voice from below, and my heart raced, at least she's alive. I saw my sister rub her eyes, and she looked up at me with her worried eyes. "I heard you scream, are you okay?"

As much as I wanted to tell her, I couldn't tell her I dreamed of her death. Would you tell your sister that?

I cleared my throat, "Yeah, Nat, I'm okay just a bad dream." I lay back down, but kept my eyes open.

_Forget it, it meant nothing._

And as soon as I closed my eyes; all I saw was that huge, gigantic truck hit my sisters' car. And as her head bobbled so wildly, back and forth, I knew she was a goner.

I stood there as I wrapped my arms around my torso, trying to keep the cold out, and not in. It was actually cold, god how I hated it.

"Make sure you take care, okay? I'll call everyday, and I'll write, and I'll come and visit every now and then. I promise." My sister said as she hugged my mother. She was leaving today, and in the back of my mind, I was screaming. I just wanted to go over to her, hug her tightly, and beg her not to go. That dream just has me shaking with my doubts. It's going to rain later today, really rain, heavy showers, and she's _driving_.

_Oh dear God, please let her get home safely. If she doesn't, it'll be my fault for not asking her to stay one more day._

I silently prayed as I heard my sister call my name. She opened her arms wide for a hug, and I jumped into them.

"Goodness, Cinnie." She laughed as she wrapped her arms around me. "Any tighter, sweetie, and you're gonna kill me." I loosened my grip on her, but only a little. "Now, you take good care of yourself, okay?" I kept my arms around her still, but pulled back. "And, Cinnia?" I nodded. "You are beautiful."

"Na-," But she stopped me by putting a finger on my lips to signal me to stop.

"Cinnia, I know what you think whenever I come to stand next to you. I see you check yourself in a mirror, fidget with your clothes, and play with your hair. There is no difference between you and me." She put finger under my chin and lifted my chin up a little so I'd look at her. "And Cinnia, you are so, so beautiful." For some reason, this felt like a _goodbye_ and not a_ see you again_, but that could be just me.

I did dream about…her…um, non-existence?

"When I look at you, sweetie, I get envious. So don't think you're not pretty enough, because those who think you're not just think that you are too pretty for them. And those kinds of people are bad, and snotty. They can walk around feeling to big, but always feel so small.

"You are _not_ like that. You're beautiful inside and out. And I know we tell you this all the time, and it's repeated all the time to several other girls your age, and I'm family, it still means a whole shit load, 'kay?" I nodded

I hugged my sister once more, "Thank you, Nat. Really." I smiled, and she grinned as she did one of those things where she rubs your head and ruined your hair. I glared at her playfully. "Drive safely, okay? It's going to rain." She laughed.

"Cinnia, really, you and Mom have _got to stop worrying_. I'm a lot stronger than I look." I stuck my tongue out at her as she jumped into her truck. "And remember, little sister, you can have any guy you want!" I waved back as she pulled off the grass, and sped down the street hocking like a maniac.

As weird and odd as that might have been; it kind of helped my confidence boost up.

Oh good, a couple more days until school starts. A school where I have no idea where the hell to go.

Just great, exactly what I need!

On the bright side, I get to see Crow.


End file.
